The Day The Music Died.... NOT!!!!

Yes... we are pleased to announce that for the 2006-2007 school year that miss angie pegram will be the drum major! YAY!!!!!!!!

Angeloo

It's amazing to me how when all you can see is the bottom of a barrel that one small little word of encouragement can mean so much! Or how that one song on the radio that used to annoy the hell out of you now makes complete sense.
While I was in my room... crying over the events of this weekend... one song was played on my TV... Hilary duff.... that one at the end of the movie "raise your voice" it meant so much...when it used to irritate the hell out of me... and then I called my friend... and she listened and gave me advice as always... And it meant more to me than anything.... now maybe I can pick up the pieces of what used to be my life and make sense of what will now change my life as I know it!

Angeloo

Once again, o faithful audience.. i come to you bitching, moaning and complaining about everything that sucks in my small insignificant life....
It's not that my life really sucks right now, but i guess instead..
well its a combo of lots of things that are increasingly coming at me....
1st off, my great aunt died... seretha... of cancer... and basicly im in shock and not really trying to deal with it i guess, then... my grandma.. who i am really close to is having to go to the hospital for brain surgery.... she has NPH caused by spinal fluid built up on her brain. she's really alone right now b/c her brother and his wife(seretha) just died both within 3 months of each other of cancer. and now she feels all alone... b/c she has none of her siblings or parents anymore.
i had to go to logans wrestling match on sat. (which he won both of his matches) but i had to be there for 7hrs. and im sick as shit,i have a slight fever, my ears are clogged, i have sinus drainage, my throat is sore, im achy all over.
my aunts water heater busted a hole in her sheetrock wall and flooded her basement, which i had to go help clean up.all of her precious things downstairs are ruined and she was upset and crying, and i didn't really know how to handle that so i just tried to say nothing and help clean up the mess, then she came over to my house and spent the night,ragged on me about my room.. .. and everything else about my house and how it isn't clean and i just took it.. i didn't say anything or give her a shouting match or anything i just stood there and took it.
then my dad's friend came over and he got drunk as hell and yelled at me for no reason other than he was drunk i wanted to slap him in the face and tell him to grow up and stop acting like a stupid little shit and be my father, but i didn't,i just took it.
my gramma wanted me to help make out her will because she's scared shes going to die and when i got home today... i told my dad i was sick.. he said o yeah... and i started talking to him.. but he just looked right through me to the TV and ignored me, and i feel so nervous about drum major stuff that i almost puked. i started off not really expecting to get it, and guarding myself against not getting it and being hurt,but now so many ppl have said that they just know i'll get it that i actually started to believe it and im risking not getting it and being disapointed and letting everyone down.
and im worried i may not get into CRHS next year with the redistricting,and i feel like the more i try to talk to michael the more i see that he only sees me as a friend,and that makes me feel even more unwanted.
and i feel like, even though i know that my friends can't do anything about it, that my friends are leaving me, and i can't do anything,and im completely on my own, and great... now im crying, and i cant stop.
why do i feel like this?

Angeloo

hello, just to alert the media.. i hate midterms and foreign languages.. especially a mixture of the two.. they suck major ass! and just so that i have complained about everything... why is it that all the weird ass creepy people have girlfirends/ boyfriends and not a damn soul wants me? I guess the world just sucks like that!

angeloo

here is a quick update as to the status of my life... this was a convorsation between me and philip.. yes... and i think i scared him... o well

Freak In Cage185 [6:07 P.M.]: hey
CRHSbandgeek [6:07 P.M.]: hey...
CRHSbandgeek [6:07 P.M.]: whats up?
Freak In Cage185 [6:07 P.M.]: nothin
CRHSbandgeek [6:07 P.M.]: im so frikin stressed
Freak In Cage185 [6:07 P.M.]: wats wrong
CRHSbandgeek [6:10 P.M.]: midterms.. im so afraid im gonna fail... and the redistricting thing... i may not be able to stay here... and then the drum major stuff... im afraid i'll not get it and be upset.. then i have a major speech the same day as drum major tryouts... add paul to that and not being able to see heather and missing lexie and feeling really vulnerable right now.. yeah.. it sucks
Freak In Cage185 [6:11 P.M.]: im sry

and yes.. this is how much i feel to go into it... haha

Angeloo

DIRTY DANCING: HAVANA NIGHTS!!!!!!!
Wow! I really like that movie! It makes me want to move to Latin-America and put on a dress that spins with me and learn how to dance from patrick swayze and find a really hott hispanic guy and go clubbing with him! I am beyond jealous of this girl in the movie... Hello?I? She takes dance lessons from patrick swayze! And I know exactly who would go with me.... Leximus? If you're reading this.. we are doing this before we get too old! And Heather... I am dragging you with me.. kicking and screaming... well if partick's involved maybe not...

Angeloo

Today I am going to try to follow in the footsteps of so many people before me. I will post my New Years Resolutions.

*Become Drum Major
*Learn Ballroom Dancing (especially latin!)
*Stay in God's Will
*Exercise Everyday
*Not Procrastinate Schoolwork
*Go after what I want
*Not Let fear keep me from love
*Learn how to let go and live on
*find my "Perfect partner"
*finish writing my novel
*Travel to somewhere at least minimally exotic
*Go dancing with my friends
*Kiss a boy on the dancefloor
*Wear a dress thats a little too provocative
*Give my # to the next hot guy that hits on me!

Happy new year!

Angeloo

Hello....
It's me here in no man's land, aka hillsborough NC, my house.. bleh... I am just leaving everyone a brief update... just so you all know that I haven't forgotten or forsaken my livejournal. I have been very busy with school, but now that I am out for two weeks, my stress level should sink back into normal family range that is managable. And on to other things.... I have finaly... at long awaited last gotten a cell phone! Yes! But I can't use it and have it until christmas after my grandma's broken the news to my aunt! anyway.. as for my social life... me and michael are still friends.. i would like to be more.. but i'll take my time and see what happens... who knows? maybe i'll end up right where i belong!

Angeloo

Today I have been bombarded with thoughts of anxiety and stress, involving too much work, too much music, too little time with friends, too many projects, too many grades, too much of the teenage runaround life, and I'm sick of it! I'm sick of everyone telling me what I should want, what i should do, and how I don't seem to be skinny enough, or pretty enough, or I don't have the clearest skin, or im not the smartest in my class, or the most talented instrumentaly. Why is it that the world wants so much from us and only gives us heartache in return?

I was watching a movie, after doing my homework that must be completed by tomorrow, and saying fuck the damn parade on saturday that i haven't memorized music for and fuck the projects i need to have done in two weeks, i don't give a fuck! I layed down on the couch with my blanket and pillow to watch a movie on TV, and sure enough i decided to watch sixteen candles about half way through it. I came in when the daughter is telling the father about an older guy who she thinks doesn't even know that she exists... when really, he's interested in her! She cries to her father some more and her father proceeds to say " If this guy, Jake, can't seem to see all the wonderfull, beautiful things that I see in you, then he's the one with the problem."

Now let me see, what father hasn't said that to their daughter at some point?!? I swear, sometimes I feel like someone should kill those damn writers!!!! After all the times of hearing people tell me this including friends, and family, I wonder if it's really true. Am i really all that miraculous, ok .. not miraculous, but special as those people say that i am? or am i just another face in the croud, nothing astonishing or pretty about me... just another grain of sand.. another wave tossed in the ocean. Then I thought if guys sit around and talk about girls... im sure they do.. but does anyone ever think i'm worthy of being thrown into convorsation? Will any guy ever love me like that?

Thank you audience, for listening to me gripe and complain... now if you would please give me COMMENTS i would most certainly appreciate it!

Angeloo

Another boring day of my life... but today it wasn't so bad. I mean sure, going to school has it's down sides, but it has its up sides too.

Down sides, man, there are so many... how about that whole getting up before 7am deal... who in their right minds thinks that a teenager can focus if they have to wake up before 7am? And the stupid teachers, they think they're so smart, yet half of them only go to get a measly pay check. There are some good ones out there who really care about their students, aka, Quigley and Drake. But then there are those dumb students who just can't seem to shut the hell up! Half the people that I'm talking about also not only don't shut up, but don't give a damn about not being able to shut up; half the time they do it out of spite! And it's those same people who go crying and have to tell half the freaking world that "Mrs. Quigley has it in for me, she just hates me!" ok.. not that i would blame her if she did hate you, but no.. believe it or not... the world is not centered around you! If you would shut up and do what she asks, then maybe she wouldn't have to tell you to shut the hell up in the middle of class!!!!!

Up sides, GUYS!!! What else could there be? (Just Kidding...)No but on most days, guys seriously help my day go sunny side up! Namely, (no... not ELS.. he's just great eye candy, and not a bad person to day dream about..) But the one guy who might be plausible to have a relationship with... i don't know, it's like he's been in a different world the last few days, ever since Thanksgiving break, when he came back. i have no idea what's wrong... but every time I try to talk to him he says that nothing is wrong!!! What's a girl to do, other than try to joke with him.. which only works half-heartedly....I hope he feels better soon, because I need someone to make Biology interesting again, not that it isn't funny, but flirting shamelessly always makes the world go 'round! haha! My friends.. what a laugh... we have absolutely the best time at school... and surprisingly, the worst times too, but laughter is most definetley the healing power for us! They can always make me smile, or bust out laughing, which usually I wind up getting in trouble for.. but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world! MUSIC!!!! Band class with my favorite teacher ever always helps to make things better. I only wish people could shut up, man, we would kick some serious Wake County tail!!!!

PLEASE POST COMMENTS!!!!! I LIVE FOR THEM!!!!!

Angeloo